The Greatest Love of All

“A world without love is a deadly place” – Helen Fisher

Player’s Log – Day 15 of my 30 Day Challenge

It should come as no surprise when you live in a place like the UK and the weather lady candidly forecasts a second month of wind and rain. To be fair, the weather isn’t always dreary in the UK, but the seasonal weather seems to redefine itself year on year.

Nonetheless, as I make my way to work this morning, I’m acutely aware that the weather outside pretty much reflects how I’m feeling inside. They warned me this would happen but that hasn’t made it easier. Foretelling what has to come offers no consolation when you find yourself caught in the eye of the storm.

I’m referring to what the organisers of the 30 Day Challenge call the “midway slump”. It’s the precise moment when the euphoria of living your dream (Day 15 and counting…) collides with the tarmac of reality. The moment when hope gives way under a crescendo of self-doubt and criticism.

As part of the 30 Day Challenge, I’ve taken to sharing my project with others, telling certain people about the crazy challenge I’ve set myself as well as ask for help. I figured I might as well use the opportunity to develop my stoicism.

What would you say?

There are usually 3 kinds of responses.

The first is one of support and encouragement. “Sure! I’ll review your book. It would be an honour to.” This is mostly followed by detailed feedback and input.

The second is one of silence from thin lips followed by a slight nod of the head which I take as a cue to change topics.

The third is one of destructive criticism and even outright condemnation. “I wouldn’t waste my time doing that if I were you,” such people would tell me knowingly.

Believe in “WE”

So what is my takeaway from these responses?

That you have to share your dreams with others to find people who share your dreams. And when you find each other, support one another.

That it’s up to each and everyone one of us to discover what matters to us even when we’re surrounded by people who don’t care.

That if we’re in the business of nurturing people, why do so many of us choose to destroy dreams instead of help them flourish?

What words or acts of nurture will you choose to use today?

On Becoming a Manager

Free Will or Predestination?

One of the most memorable quotes I’ve ever come across in terms of organisations is one from Peter Drucker who observed that “Organisations form and deform people.” This quote terrified me at first because I realised immediately that that could become my fate (or it was already too late). This thought, in turn, reminded me of the lengthy university literature debates we had on “free will vs predestination” (based on my term in 18th century French literature).

Eventually, my mind came back with a reply in response to Drucker’s remark and it’s been one of my guiding principles as a coach ever since. Just as it takes two to tango, the flip side of Drucker’s coin is this: “People allow themselves to be formed and deformed.”

With great power comes great responsibility

Over the years, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of being passionate about what you do. This is especially important when it comes to managing people. It’s crucial that you care about people enough to create Win-Win situations because that’s your job as a manager.

Being a manager is about nurture not punishment. It’s about bringing the best out of people. It’s about learning to care for others as much as for yourself. You only have listen to the language a manager uses to identify which school of management they graduated from.

It’s also equally important to be sufficiently self-aware to know when you care too much. The danger of feeling too much could compromise your judgment and effectiveness.

The Power of Being Human

In the words of Uncle Ben of Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility”. All too often, we become so focused on personal gain that we forget our true purpose. Although we like to think ourselves brave and daring, we are secretly afraid of looking in the mirror our people hold up in front of us every time we interact with them.

The days of employing rudimentary techniques such as “carrot-and-stick” to create “successful” organisations are disappearing. How would you like to be treated like a donkey? When was the last time you read up on the latest people management techniques and applied them? How often do you ask your direct reports for open feedback? What improvement actions do you take and track to close the feedback loop? What do you do to become better today than you were yesterday every day?

Dare to Dream

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson

Player’s Log – Day 4 of my 30 Day Challenge

I promised to tell you a bit about my 30-day play project. It’s to publish a business novel with a twist based on my experiences as an Agile consultant-coach. On 31 May, I will launch the result of my endeavour. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I’ve had fun in creating it.

Daunting Dreams

I’ll be glad to finally set it free having cogitated over it since last December. The fact is, I first came up with the idea a few years ago, but lacked the courage and oomph to get it started, let alone get it finished. And whenever I managed to make a start (and there have been so many I’ve lost count), I quickly put it away, afraid that it would be a waste of my time and of other people’s.

Live Your Dreams

That was then, this is now. As part of the 30 Day Challenge, I’ve pledged to work on my play project for at least 20 minutes a day, 6 days a week, with a day of rest on the 7th. I’m applying much of what I’ve learned as a coach, from being gentle with myself to working incrementally and iteratively and it’s working.

With a Personal Purpose, Your Life will Flourish

Based on my experience so far, living your dream is one of the best tests of your personal agility. It requires you to apply much of what you know and believe in to get you going and keep you moving forward. There are many benefits. The most profound one is that it reinvigorates your personal sense of purpose.

Reflecting on my progress so far, I discover that my renewed sense of purpose has helped bring to life many more of my dreams, both at work and at home.

How can you breathe life into your dream today? What’s the smallest baby step you can take to bring you closer?

Who is Agile?

Yves Hanoulle, a fellow Agilista, started an intriguing book called “Who is Agile” to coincide with the celebration of Agile turning 10 years old in 2011. The latest version of the book features the profiles of 56 Agilists who answer a common set of questions. You can buy the book here and decide the price you pay!

To give you a flavour of what the book’s like, here’s the piece I wrote about myself submitted to Yves and his team. A big “Thank You” to Yves for making me think!

Portia in Wonderland

Who is Agile? Featuring Portia Tung

What is something people usually don’t know about you but has influenced you in who you are?

I didn’t always study and work in the field of IT. My first degree was in English and French during which I spent a year out in Paris, France as an English language assistant.

My most memorable moment was during my first lesson when an African young man asked me, in French, “Will you give me a lower grade because of the colour of my skin?”

My brief language assistant training hadn’t prepared me for this. I was so surprised by the question that I had to re-parse his question several times in my head to be certain I’d heard correctly. I’d grown up with prejudice in many different guises, so his question struck a chord.

And so I drew on my limited life lessons up to the tender age of 19 and replied gently, yet firmly, “When you are in my class, the only thing that matters is how much you want to learn. I will help you if you are willing and your grade will reflect your endeavour.”

Looking back, that year abroad marks the starting point of my passion for the love and science of lifelong learning. That’s when I began my lifelong pursuit of realising human potential, that in others as well as in myself.

If you would not have been in IT, what would have become of you?

Most probably a teacher and a writer related to social enterprise. In practice, I have similar roles in IT: as a trainer, coach and international conference speaker (presenting in English and sometimes even in French!) as well as being a blogger and storyteller.

As for the social enterprise element, I collaborate through giving and sharing what I have whenever I can by making my games available under the Creative Commons licence. It’s my small way of “doing good”. Great things can come from humble beginnings I’m told. My projects include: Agile FairytalesPlaymaking andAgileCoach.net.

What is your biggest challenge and why is it a good thing for you?

It’s tough to admit this, but my biggest challenge is myself. I’ve come to realise that the only thing standing between us and our dreams is ourselves. It’s easy to make excuses about why we don’t have the things we feel we deserve.

Using the concepts from Stephen Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People”, I’ve come to realise that both our span of control and sphere of influence are much bigger than we think. If we put our heart, mind and body into our endeavours, we can achieve what we need to be happy.

I’ve also come to realise that the value of our life’s journey can be amplified with love, patience and understanding of others and, most importantly, of ourselves. After all, only you can change yourself for the better.

What drives you?

The thought of succumbing to the fate of an adult sea squirt. Did you know that once an adult sea squirt finds a rock or some place to live out the rest of its life, it ends up devouring its own brain and nervous system since it no longer has need to think and learn?

To avoid becoming a human zombie, you have to “use it or lose it”. This can be hard work at times and that’s why I invest so much effort in making learning fun. It keeps me growing regardless of which way the tide is flowing.

What is your biggest achievement?

To love what I do AND be doing what I love.

It’s taken me years to realise that I’d always had the power to create my dream job. Bit by bit, with each day that passes, I’m realising that dream to a greater degree. Work is the means by which I become more competent, develop my creativity and my ability to innovate. Most importantly, it’s the main vehicle by which I achieve my life’s purpose of serving others.

My work requires me to be many things, such as trainer, coach, speaker. It’s also a source of great inspiration for my blogging and storytelling.

I have a theory that for a human being to make the most of their human potential, they have to love what they do and do what they love. For most of us, one eventually leads to the other. In my opinion, these are the two pre-requisites for achieving “flow”. Flow, in turn, leads to achievement, excellence and fulfilment.

What is the last book you have read?

“Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s about the journey and adventure of a woman experiencing a thrisis (a midlife crisis in one’s thirties). Elizabeth is a funny, quirky and talented storyteller. She tells it like it is, warts and all. Although I’m not a religious person, Elizabeth’s story has helped me better see the interconnections between spirituality and Systems Thinking, how we are all part of a greater whole. It has shown me how we can apply the principle of Global Optima, not just to our decisions and processes at work, but to our daily lives at at large.

I strongly recommend seeing and hearing Elizabeth Gilbert in action on ted.com.

What question do you think I should also ask and what is the answer?

Q: What is your worldview?

A: “Enough is enough” by which I mean I think there is enough of what we need to go around. And if we choose to share, then we will discover there is actually plenty. That’s how I strive to operate at work and at home. Instead of hoarding resources, information and opportunities, I choose to share. I call it “sustainable philanthropy”.

What question of one of the co-authors do you also want to answer?

Q: Where do you go to learn? (From Jenni Jepsen)

A: Ted.com. It’s my modern day oracle. I type in the keyword/topic I’m most interested in at a given moment in time and end up on many adventures that span cultures, disciplines and experiences. My latest favourite Ted talk is one by Alain de Botton about “a gentler philosophy of success”.

Who should be the next person to answer these questions?

Martin Heider: A larger than life fun-seeking and appreciative coach who constantly challenges people to be the best they can be.

Katrin Elster: A fun-meister who’s crazy about creativity, people and play

Vera Peeters: For co-creating The XP Game, the first Agile game I ever played and marked the start of my personal and professional Agile adventure!

Pascal Van Cauwenberghe: For co-creating The XP Game and showing me that doing what you love is a reality we can all make happen if we choose to!

Time for Play

The Play Manifesto

Calling all Playmakers!

It’s Monday morning. Again. Is your cup half empty or half full? Either way, a spot of Play is sure to get you topped up and rearing to go again!

If you want to learn more about the science of Play and how to lead a more playful life at work, join us for a play session in May:

Hope to see you there!

Meanwhile, find out more about The Play Manifesto at www.playmaking.org – the home of Playmaking!

Easter Eggs and Chocolate Bunnies

Keeping minds open

Simply Spring

What better way to welcome in the spring than with beautifully hand-painted eggs delivered by bunnies? Better still, edible chocolate bunnies.

There’s something simple and marvellous about Spring. It’s the time when Nature awakens and invites us to do the same.

Nature’s Spring Clean

Now is the time to sweep away the cobwebs which have been collecting frost and dust over the winter and turn over a new leaf.

Spring offers us the opportunity for personal renewal, a chance for us to retrospect and blossom.

To paraphrase Ezra Pound, one of the greatest imagist poets of the twentieth century, the key to enjoying life is “to make things new”. We have to learn to lookout for the magical in the mundane to give meaning to the way we live every day.

Magic Moments

It is precisely when we are actively in search of unravelling colourful mysteries that we widen our points-of-view and enlarge our understanding of the world around us. Most important of all, it can lead to a clearer understanding of ourselves.

Before we can spot the magic, many of us need to first de-clutter a bad habit.

No Fluff, Just Stuff

In my experience, effective leaders and coaches are good judges of people and situations. The problem arises when this muscle of judgment becomes our default modus operandi. From being able to quickly assess people and situations, we become increasingly judgmental of others and of ourselves.

Against Better Judgement

What’s more, the more “expert” we perceive ourselves to be, the more assumptions we make because we judge often and we judge early.

According to executive coach, Marshall Goldsmith, being over-judgmental is one of the top 20 flaws of highly successful people. I’m inclined to agree.

My Personal Fool’s Experiment

For a leader and coach to be effective, we have to learn to keep an open mind. We need to learn to postpone judgment. I’m currently experimenting with how to be less judgmental of others by being less judgmental of myself.

Over the years, I’ve come to realise that there is a direct correlation between my being judgmental of others and being judgmental of myself. Although I’m getting better at postponing judgment of people and situations, a bigger challenge remains.

Handle Yourself with Care

So what does “being less judgmental of myself” involve? In my case, instead of busily being self-critical all the time, it’s about being more gentle with myself.

Here’s the algorithm I use for postponing judgment of others and it works on postponing judgment of myself:

  • Recognition: Recognise when I’m being judgmental
  • Acknowledgement: Acknowledge that I’m being judgmental so that I can move onto the next step
  • Encouragement: Encourage myself to restore an open mind
  • Improvement: Improve myself based on that cycle of learning
  • Practice: Practice, practice, practice.

How do you keep an open mind for long enough to see things new?

Playmaking While The Sun Shines

Go to work to play

“Screw work let’s play!”

Do you sometimes wish you could goof off work and play? I’ve been invited to present “The Power of Play” at GOTO Copenhagen on May 23.

Join us in a playful presentation where we’ll explore why play isn’t just essential for creativity and innovation, but crucial to our survival and overall well-being. We’ll begin with the definition of play followed by an exploration of why we play and how we play. We’ll investigate the relationship of work and play and demonstrate how, instead of being mutually exclusive, both are necessary for personal and group creativity and achievement. We’ll finish off with useful guidelines for bringing more play into your life. And if you play your cards right, you’ll leave with plenty of ideas to achieve your recommended daily amount of play!

It’s not how good you are, it’s how good you want to be!

If you’d like to come along, then there’s more good news! You can now take advantage of a speaker referral program, get a discount AND GOTO will make a donation on your behalf to “Computers for Charities“.

All you have to do is:

  1. Register for the conference here.
  2. Enter the promotion code: tung1000.
  3. Make your purchase.
  4. Hey presto! You’ve just saved DK 1.000 AND GOTO will make a donation of DK 1.000 to a charity.

Can signing up for play get better than this? I’m sure we can think of something…

Meanwhile, looking forward to playmaking with you and your friends at GOTO Copenhagen in 2012!

GOTO-Speaker-Banner

Being Interviewed by Kenji Hiranabe

Kenji

Conversation with One of the Agile Thought Leaders in Japan

I met Kenji some years ago, first at an Agile 20XX conference where he gave an excellent presentation on Mindmapping. Then in 2010, we met at BCS SPA where we had a riveting conversation about Agile Fairytales, soft skills and the power of storytelling for personal development and problem solving.

Last year, we met again, this time at Agile 2011, where he was a track host of the experiential sessions. It was great to have Kenji participate in the latest Agile Fairytale, “The Emperor’s New Clothes: Meaningful Interactions in Stressful Situations“, co-created by Jenni Jepsen and me.

Most recently, Kenji invited me to share my views on the state of Agile Adoption in the UK. He’s been commissioned by the Japanese government to undertake an assessment of the state of Agile Adoption around the world. With such an exciting endeavour, how could I refuse?

Taking part in the interview given me the chance to look back as well as look forward to all that Agile has brought and continues to bring to people and projects: Communication, Community, Collaboration and Continuous Improvement.  I’ve come to understand that Agile isn’t about being right or wrong. It’s about being better. Here is an adaptation of the interview we’d like to share with you.

I look forward to interviewing Kenji about the state of Agile Adoption in Japan. May be we can even publish it in two versions: English and Japanese! Watch this space…

The 30 Day Challenge

Yaay for Play

“Play once a day to keep the doctor and priest away!” – Portia Tung

Screw Work Let’s Play!

I first came across the book “Screw Work Let’s Play” by John Williams sometime last year. It’s fair to say reading the book has changed my life. In a playful way.

The fact is, I’ve been researching on how to make a living out of doing what I love for years. I’ve read books like “The 4-Hour Work Week” by Timothy Ferriss and watched a multitude of videos and self-help books besides. Check out Tim’s inspiring Ted talk here.

Why love what you do?

Because I know, as a coach, that when we do what we are truly passionate about, the world around us opens up. And that’s when the magic happens. For me, doing what I love is a dream come true. A chance to make the most of my potential. Since this is what I encourage my teams to do, it’s important I drink my own champagne.

So what have I done since? Quite a bit, considering I’ve got a day job and other responsibilities.

  • Created an play-filled presentation on “The Power of Play” (based on my past and very present curiosity on the art and science of play)
  • Delivered the “The Power of Play” presentation at a number of places, including Oredev 2011, Play4Agile and even at work! If you want to experience this session yourself, we’ll be playing at GOTO Copenhagen on 23 May!
  • Invented the concept of “Playmaking” to mean “transforming work through play” and the term “Playmaker” for people who do this to stay alive plus created the “Playmaking” blog
  • Attended a session hosted by John on the subject of “Happiness” and making happiness a central part of my life (the event was part of something called “Scanners Night” where a scanner is an ideas person who may at times struggle to realise one of those ideas)
  • Made play an integral part of what I do every day. Have you had your Recommended Daily Amount of Play today?

What’s next?

I’ve signed up to be the second intake of “The 30 Day Challenge“, a concept realised by John and Selina Barker to help people deliver a “play project” of their choice. “The 30 Day Challenge” started back in August 2011 and I’m very excited to be part of it!

The challenge begins on 1 May and I’ve selected my project. To write and publish a book to share with you. I’ve started and abandoned writing a book (fiction, non-fiction, you name it, I’ve probably had a go) at least 20 times in my adult life time, so I reckon this endeavour will be a serious test of how effective “The 30 Day Challenge” really is.

Watch this space and follow me on Twitter to hear live updates on how my 30 Day Challenge goes.

Meanwhile, back to you…

…  Benjamin Disraeli once said, “Life is too short to be small”. How can you open up the world around you so that magic can happen?

The Curiosity Garden

Blooming Heck

“A rose by any other name…”

Sometime ago, I witnessed a curious story on a gardening programme about an elderly couple, a pair of husband and wife, who loved each other very much. Together, they had brought up a nest full of children, and now have a tumble of grandchildren. Of course, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about all this.

What made their story curious was when we stepped into their garden. The first thing you notice was the fence that ran straight down the middle of the garden. In one half was a meticulously mowed lawn edged with majestic trees, a few of which must have been centuries old. In the other half, was a gravel path that twisted and turned, guiding us through a maze of carefully crafted meadows and a rainbow of flowerbeds.

“Well, this is a remarkable garden!” exclaims the presenter with his floppy hair and woolly jumper. “Or should I say, two remarkable gardens?” he chuckles. Because upon closer inspection, it was exactly that. Two gardens, lain side-by-side, each with its own gate into paradise and its own “Keep Out!” sign.

A Garden of One’s Own

It turns out that the husband loved trees and cared only for Nature’s skyscrapers. “The first thing everyone notices when they step into my garden, is that big oak in the back,” he said. “Their first question is, ‘How old is it?’ And when I tell them it’s 200 years old, they are very impressed. The older and taller the tree, the better.”

Next was the wife’s turn to walk us through the intricacies of her garden. “I prefer flowers to trees because I enjoy noticing every tiny change, from a single bud to a blossoming flower,” she said. “There’s a place for every little thing, including weeds in my meadow.”

After all this, the presenter, with his floppy hair and woolly jumper, then started quizzing the couple about their different approaches to gardening.

The wife smiles and replies, “Life happens all around us and it’s important to notice small changes so that we can nurture them into great medleys. For me, flowers are what defines a beautiful garden.”

The husband shakes his head and points first to his garden then that of his wife’s in contrast. “Flowers are insignificant in the grander scheme of things. What matters are the big structures because they give shape to what would otherwise be an unruly mess.”

Our Secret Gardens

For the longest of time, this encounter has intrigued me. It has made me think hard about the relationship between creations and creators. And, of course, the relationship among creators themselves.

To paraphrase Toyota’s perspective on quality, “the product you produce is a reflection of those who created it”. Likewise, in software development, “the quality of your codebase reflects the teamwork and organisation that produced it”.

All of this gives rise to a few vital questions. Why do so many of us think in terms of black- or-white (aka False Dichotomy) or what I call “Either-Or-Thinking”? Does it really have to be either trees or flowers that make a garden beautiful?

What about “And Thinking”? Could it be that trees and flowers would together result in an even more beautiful garden? Why? Because seeing the big picture (trees) and keeping it in mind is just as necessary as finer-grained details (flowers) for getting things done.

And the most important question of all if we are to achieve greatness beyond ourselves is this: How can we leverage each other’s strengths and weaknesses to help us achieve our goals more effectively and harmoniously?

After all, the pleasure of a garden comes from sharing it with those we truly love.